BOOKS: the only thing keeping me sane in this crazy world.
If you’re expecting a love story today, you’re about to be deeply disappointed. It’s actually a tale of horror, but don’t worry—I’ll try to keep the gore to a minimum.
BUT BE WARNED: This is kind of gross.
Picture this: I’m dutifully washing dishes, blissfully unaware that I’m about to encounter a creature so vile, so nefarious, it’d make Dracula look like a Disney prince. 🧛
The last cup has been cleaned. I’m almost done… wiping down the sink…
I reach in to lift the drain cover, and WHAM!
[***Cue the Hitchcock score***]
This giant cockroach bursts forth like a dinosaur in “Jurassic Park”—you know, if dinosaurs were tiny, gross, and loved lurking in drains.
It scurries over my hand, [***cringe***] its tiny feet doing the cha-cha on my skin before I fling it away.
[***cue my scream***]
… which could probably be heard in the next galaxy over. 🎶😱
My heart pounded like the frantic beats of a death metal drum solo. That’s when I went into full ninja mode…
GOAL: Must squish the demon bug.
Imagine me frantically pawing for a flip-flop, never daring to break eye contact with the tiny terror, because the only thing worse than seeing this cockroach?
Knowing it would be loose in the house somewhere.
Finally, with one eye closed and a stifled shriek, I smashed the intruder into the great beyond.
[INSERT APPLAUSE HERE]
Who needs espresso shots when you’ve got adrenaline pumping through your veins, right?
But also, let’s not do that again.
Afterwards, I drowned my hands in hydrogen peroxide and my filled up my wine glass… because we all need disinfectant after being psychologically violated by a bug.
My friend, this experience got me thinking:
Real life’s horror scenes that keep us on the edge of our seats—aren’t they kind of like the best romance novels? The thrills, the spills, the heart-beating drama, the…cockroaches?
(Okay, maybe not that last one.)
So the next time you’re engrossed in a book and a surprise twist throws you off your comfy reading chair, remember this: at least it’s not a cockroach.
Squishing you all some love, and please, don’t forget to clean your drains,
Olivia 😘